It is I, Gandersnitch the Goblin, with an important message.
Effective immediately, I am suspending my campaign for the President of the United States.
Here is the deal. I thought it would be fun to jump into the fray, make some jokes, tell some stories, and point out some absurdities.
I have encountered one major problem however. Politics are scary! Seriously, turn on the news and just listen to what these people are saying. Actually, don’t. You need the few brain cells you have left. Crack open a history book instead. See the paths we have been down before, and DONT let your elected leaders walk down them again. Do you own research, look up everyone’s voting records, see what their public statements on major issues are, and listen to a candidate you don’t think you agree with – actually listen – and see if there is any common ground. In short, use your head for thinking, not just for holding your hats. Talk to your next door neighbors and see what concerns them, go to a city council meeting and see what is going on in your town. Whatever you do- DO NOT take the commercials, or memes, or editorials at face value. Truth is not a talking point.
Personally, I am scared at what I see out there as our options. They pretty much suck!
I am scared at the generations of people who don’t bother to vote because they don’t make a difference. I am scared that a reality TV star is the most popular pick because he speaks his mind. Listen, if you want someone who “speaks their mind” go listen to a bunch of drunks at the closest pub. They speak their mind and probably spew less garbage while doing it.
To stay in the race and be witty and clever about it, I would have to pay attention to what all the others are saying. And I can’t do that. I can’t pay attention to the ignorance, fear, and hatred that is filling up my media feeds. I can’t argue every falsehood I find, every twisted statement I see. I can’t and I wont. I am going to detox my mind by stepping out of the running.
But don’t you fear, I am still voting! And you better vote too!
If you don’t like any of the options, pick the one that does the least harm. If that won’t work: Vote Wedji – Goblin National Party! Go Green!