The Dangers of Goblin-Dad

My kids have a strange upbringing. To them, it is perfectly normal that dads dress up in costume and do crazy things. There are some downsides, however. 

A few weeks ago I started pondering the creation of some gross novelty scented candles for Gandersnitch to sell for the Valentine’s Day Oddmall. That didn’t happen because it took too long to get the tester scents (and because I was convinced that nasty candles aren’t exactly a hot ticket item.)

The scents finally arrived last night (after being delivered to the wrong address). Baby Diaper, Gym Socks, Zombie, Diesel Fuel, and Metallic Copper (Those last two because I was looking for things to go with gunsmoke and motor oil for a workshop scent.)

I sniffed each, let my son smell them, and then put the vials back in the bag, and the bag in the box. They were very accurate recreations.

This morning, my daughter’s lunchbox reeks. I have her digging through her bag to find out what the smell is coming from. Quite possibly it is the school’s applesauce that has been in there for who knows how long. I rinse her lunchbox and spray it with Lysol and off to school we go.

I return home and something still reeks. I check where her lunchbox was sitting… Oh yeah, that is foul!

Then it hits me. I pick up the box of scents that was on the counter where I placed her lunchbox. It is oily.

I check the counter. It too is oily.<br>
I open the tiny box… and run gagging to the sink.

The inside of the little plastic bag still has just the hint of liquid in the corner. Four small tester vials are completely full. One is totally empty. The liquid that was in that vial is in the bag, on the box, on the counter, and quite possibly on my daughter’s lunch box. The empty vial is labeled Gym Socks…

Tuesday is garbage day on our street. You aren’t supposed to put the trash out on the street until then. Thankfully, we live off an alleyway. Hopefully, there aren’t any wild animals that find the sweaty, sour, salty, rotten scent of unwashed gym socks appetizing.

Needless to say, I no longer have any foul-smelling scent samples. But if you want some, I know a company that absolutely nails it. Or it could just be the rotten applesauce.

1 comment for “The Dangers of Goblin-Dad

  1. Robert
    February 15, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    Should be the misadventures of goblin dad. That’s a sweet and sour story there! Loved it.

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